21/08/2011

The weather today is the same like any other days.. Sunny and just a great day going out.. But why my heart just like in the thunderstorm?? This day is the day that I have anticipated since I met you.. But why now I didn't want it to come.. I tried my best to stop the time but it just impossible time just can't stop..

Do you remember that day?? I remember it very well.. I tried to forget it but everything is clear to me.. I don't know since when I hate this typical route that I always use to go to our hangout place?? I hate everything at this route.. Everything remind me of you.. That beach that we always went to.. Staring at the sea silently.. With you beside me.. How I missed that moment.. Now when I go back to that beach I just feels emptiness and loneliness in my heart. I hate that feelings.

Our hangout place become my least favorite place.. Your face keep popping out each time I walking there.. Even my favorite parking spot become my least favorite place..

"Meeting you is coincidence, getting to know you is my choice, falling in love with you is not my plan, forgetting you is impossible.."

Our meeting is more like fate. How many percentage that you who lives across the sea will study at the same place with me, with the same class. Less than 0.1%.. And how many percentage that I will studying there?? That course is not even my choice. If I didn't seat near you at that time we may not be close at all.. It all fate..

How did it get to that extend?? Did it fate too that I fall to you?? What I know for sure that is not my plan.. I thought that our distance is the only thing that may be our problem.. I guess not.. I don't know that to be in love you need to be caution all the time.

Can I forget you?? Our ring that become my pendant is the only thing that telling me you exist.. All our memories are real. It not my own imagination.. I just can't bear wearing that ring but I can't throw away that ring... It have become my pendant for months now.. I keep holding on at something that uncertain.

Hating would be so much better.. If I can hate you, I wouldn't be like this. Because I can't hate you that I keep trying to hold on. Angry with you? Yes at first I'm mad at you.. but then when I thinking that I'm not going to see you smile at me again.. Not going to hear your accent again.. I'm not going to hear your voice at my phone everyday.. I'm not going to get any message from you again.. Your name will never show up at my phone.. I can't tease you anymore.. You are not mine anymore.. Thinking about that my tears just drop...

I guess deep down I already know.. You didn't contact me this entire holiday and especially today.. Our special day and you still didn't contact me.. I don't know if you even remember it..

Did I really know you? I guess I know you too well that I know you will never say it.. So let me tell it in your place...

Happy Anniversary

&

Goodbye

Thanks for everything and now I'll be gone from your life forever...

~Kei~